About Me

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All I can be is just me... Here I am for all to see, love me or leave me alone.

There is NO "Right or Wrong", Interpretation is Just Semantics Until We Are Ready to HEAR.

There was a time, before Christianity, when philosophers spoke of kindness, of selfless acts and ideas that implied a sense of balance between human beings and mankind, respect for the world in which we lived, and of all living things which we were dependent upon for our survival.

These teachings were that of accountability through mindfulness and awareness. Spirituality symbolized an inner peace and sense of empowerment, achieved simply by being in tune to the fact that the world was comprised of far more than man, that if we didn't practice such principles, our selfish acts over time would have a negative impact on our world, and that every thing, living or dying, was a moving part with a crucial role in a complex universe.

With that said...

If you wanna know me invest some time, if you wanna know how I feel, I'll tell ya... about myself, about you, about someone else, that's as honest as I can be... I don't have the skinny, or any dirt, but if you wanna hear an opinion, I'm all about it!!!

Label me outspoken, judgmental, mean, whatever you like, if you don't wanna hear it don't ask! And if you are gonna interrupt when I am telling you what you asked to hear, don't draw your own conclusions as if you understand me, you don't, and as long as you think you do, you never will.

Few people have balls enough to ask me for my opinion, and listen to my answer, even fewer have the balls to disagree without fear. My opinions are mine, they are opinions, the way I feel is me, it's how I feel, feelings and opinions are subject to change at any time as I grow and open my eyes to other angles and other points of view. Who am I to tell you your ideas or feelings or opinions are wrong? They belong to you and have no impact on me or my life whatever.

Not everyone can see the points I try to illustrate. I am grateful when you share, when you disagree, when you help me to see things from outside of my own comfort zone. I am not going to be persuaded, brainwashed, force fed, or bullied into believing or seeing something that just isn't there for me. If that is how you roll, please roll on by. If I am meant to catch your drift, I will.

Are we speaking in Fact, Opinion, or Smoke Up My Ass?

FACT: There are people in the world who manipulate others, prey on their weaknesses, and gain their trust, all for no reason other than a sense of power or superiority.

OPINION: We all have a dark side, some are frightened by it, some are intrigued by it, ever testing the depths of debauchery they are capable of, others are oblivious to it, and a few spend their entire life sharpening and honing it, they are the true "wolves in sheeps' clothing", and potentially the most dangerous people on the planet. The most skilled dark mind is stealth among his peers, he's virtually undetectable, hiding in the shadows of our most trusted sanctuaries, he doesn't look out of place, he disguises himself as a trusted servant, he watches and listens and learns studying his prey like an animal in the wild.

FACT: Without entering into a big debate of religion and Darwin etc... Predatorial behavior is in our nature, we are animals in the circle of life, and while "most" humans are civilized and generally good, the human predator may actually be more highly evolved, after all, an uncivilized creature would not have the ability to appear, act, and live among its' prey and certainly couldn't maintain the level of self control required for such a long and slow process.

OPINION: Balance is the key to a healthy, productive, "happy" life. Dark minds exist, oblivious minds exist, paranoid minds exist, it takes all kinds to make the world we live in. If you surround yourself only by one type of mind, your mind will either fight to be the leader, follow suit, or bow down to serve. Too much of any one thing can be unhealthy to all of us.

SMOKE UP YOUR ASS: If you struggle with unmanageable circumstances and you can't curb the behavior on your own, there are support groups, 12 step programs, therapists, retreats, hypnosis, acupuncture, you name it... there is a way to improve your life. Whatever works for you is your choice. I need to remind myself why I came into these groups, programs, therapists, etc... I was feeling like I was an outcast, completely unable to exist in society. I was unemployed and unemployable, I was angry and violent, I was clinically insane. The root of my problems lays within me, the symptom was the depravity of my addiction and my inability to stop.

With true desperation comes surrender, willingness, and freedom from bondage of self. Relying on a group of strangers that came before you and keep coming is a great way to learn what to do and how to get it done. This worked for me the first 3 years. Legit, it worked, my life got better, I started a new career, I became very successful.

Life dealt me some bad hands, I played them out, never folded, and eventually found myself back in a world of desperation, not a relapse, just life's bullshit bringing me back to the beginning. I submerged myself back in the programs and groups. They were my life raft and I was drowning in life's terms. Some of the people within these places befriended me and played a role of supportive friend, fellow, or understanding confidant. While MOST remained that way, a few seemed to have a stake in my presence, they had been trusted members of my crew but they had not appeared to be so supportive as my plan to reintegrate with society came into view. I had never planned to abandon these groups completely, however when people turn on you for wanting to improve your life, the safety net of a group starts to feel like the confines of a gang, cult, or prison.

I have crawled and climbed and dug my way back out of the hole and while I am trying to make my transition back into the workforce and being a productive member of society, I am met with great resistance from my peers at these groups, etc. I am being discouraged from reaching for the stars... I am being told that people like me don't do well in (ABC) circumstances, or (XYZ) jobs.

I did not "join" to be held back, I needed to learn how to live. I came in with thoughts of ending my life because I just couldn't exist among my neighbors, co-workers, family, and friends. I can do this today, and I know that the possibilities are endless, however, I have to take some initiative, take a risk occasionally, and apply myself. I would never have the ability to do this without the skills I picked up in the groups that I centered myself in and the people who rallied around me.

FACT: No human being has the power to predict whether you will rise to the top or sink to the bottom in any situation, do not allow yourself to drown in the misery of others. You crawl beneath no one.

OPINION: The moment you feel uncomfortably inferior to anyone, get out of the situation and find one that suits you.