Expectations based on warped ideas of "the norm"
Never account for the ashes from which I was born.
There's a cloud of destruction, for miles behind
Masquing every indication of an unsound mind.
Your hope is that I bridge this ridiculous gap
In a union absent of foundation, liable to snap
A pawn, a novelty, a doll, an excuse
Used to continue this ugly cycle of abuse
You mixed to produce life and tossed it into your clutter
Decades passed, destiny delivered me up out from the gutter
Disqualified, discounted, discontent, and diseased
I was the one who was crazy, it set YOUR mind at ease.
My instinct is what cautioned me from following your lead
Your self centered motives came before my emotional needs
Finger pointing at each other was your one claim to fame
Passing the buck, playing dumb, always pushing off the blame
I learned to adapt, from manipulation, evolved a fine art
To get what I want was habitual, I had a talent for it, I was smart
But you didn't even know me, your own flesh and blood
Busy chasing your own demons, pushing me down in the mud
The hurt turned to hate, the sadness to rage, and the lonely became lost
"THE ICK", that black hole in my soul proved to be the highest cost
Fighting down through the sordid dimensions of hell
I tapped out, had enough, and the ref rang the bell
Healing began when I let go of the blame
Disallowed your shame,
and could utter your NAME (again) and not shed a tear.
Identity is something I never learned,
I must have missed that class, unconcerned
Defiance was just a defensive support,
Allowing the distance required to abort, from this family facade, this delusional game
I wanted out, to be free, and to change my tainted name.
I worked hard, and I cried,
confessed wherever I had lied
I admitted things I thought I'd take to the grave
Later to find it was what made me a slave
I worked with others, I gave back to the group
Each day brought me toward the center of the loop
"Stay on the edge and you may fall out"
Cautioned my sisters who knew what it was all about
I'm grateful today for the new life which I've built
free from bondage of remorse, of shame, and of guilt
I feel regular feelings, and live a good life
I'll never be perfect, there will always be strife
If I choose to engage, mindful is the way,
My tongue is still sharp, I live just for today.
There is a path before me, it's not always clear
What I let get in front of me begins with fear.
Others who share experience give me strength to cope
We all struggle with it too, and that brings ME hope
When we can't find it within us, faith appears to be gone
Yet it sorts itself out, and there is a new dawn
Buckle up, hang on tight, and just come along!
Your hope is that I bridge this ridiculous gap
In a union absent of foundation, liable to snap
A pawn, a novelty, a doll, an excuse
Used to continue this ugly cycle of abuse
You mixed to produce life and tossed it into your clutter
Decades passed, destiny delivered me up out from the gutter
Disqualified, discounted, discontent, and diseased
I was the one who was crazy, it set YOUR mind at ease.
My instinct is what cautioned me from following your lead
Your self centered motives came before my emotional needs
Finger pointing at each other was your one claim to fame
Passing the buck, playing dumb, always pushing off the blame
I learned to adapt, from manipulation, evolved a fine art
To get what I want was habitual, I had a talent for it, I was smart
But you didn't even know me, your own flesh and blood
Busy chasing your own demons, pushing me down in the mud
The hurt turned to hate, the sadness to rage, and the lonely became lost
"THE ICK", that black hole in my soul proved to be the highest cost
Fighting down through the sordid dimensions of hell
I tapped out, had enough, and the ref rang the bell
Healing began when I let go of the blame
Disallowed your shame,
and could utter your NAME (again) and not shed a tear.
Identity is something I never learned,
I must have missed that class, unconcerned
Defiance was just a defensive support,
Allowing the distance required to abort, from this family facade, this delusional game
I wanted out, to be free, and to change my tainted name.
I worked hard, and I cried,
confessed wherever I had lied
I admitted things I thought I'd take to the grave
Later to find it was what made me a slave
I worked with others, I gave back to the group
Each day brought me toward the center of the loop
"Stay on the edge and you may fall out"
Cautioned my sisters who knew what it was all about
I'm grateful today for the new life which I've built
free from bondage of remorse, of shame, and of guilt
I feel regular feelings, and live a good life
I'll never be perfect, there will always be strife
If I choose to engage, mindful is the way,
My tongue is still sharp, I live just for today.
There is a path before me, it's not always clear
What I let get in front of me begins with fear.
Others who share experience give me strength to cope
We all struggle with it too, and that brings ME hope
When we can't find it within us, faith appears to be gone
Yet it sorts itself out, and there is a new dawn
Buckle up, hang on tight, and just come along!
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