What is a Human Oxymoron?

If I were a living oxymoron, what would I be like?

I would be an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I would appear tough, strong, in control, calm, cool, and collected, but inside I'd be crippled with fear, doubt, and insecurity. I would find pleasure in pain. I would treat the loneliness of depression with isolation. I would keep people at arms length yet become saddened that no one ever gets close to me. I would appear to be independent, yet be co-dependent to an extreme, only secure when taking care of someone else's troubles. I would want to be recognized, but not want to be watched. When I am right, all should take note, when I am wrong, all would take cover. I would hate my parents, yet desperately seek their approval. I'd be disgusted by the opposite sex, but yearning for that companionship. I would trust no one, but tell everyone everything about me. I would be Bi Polar, Passive Aggressive, Anti Social, an Addict, a Gambler, a Compulsive Blogger. If it could take the ME out of me, I would become addicted, chasing all feelings of relief or pleasure as though it were a quest for the meaning of life.

Every single part of my life would be extreme in one way or another. The thermostat would be off or on high, the volume would be off or on max, I'd take hot showers, drink cold coffee, sleep during the day, stay up all night, read books and directions backwards, I would under-mind my GPS, make lists but don't use them, my best intentions would yield the worst results. I would detest rules, break laws, resist management, oppose government, religion, politics, and the like. I would challenge any so-called experts. I would adamantly refuse conform, as it would mean becoming a sheep or a slave to today's society and agendas.

If you are wired like me, you'll understand, and if you can admit to that much, you are honest enough to be my friend.